Hope the Rain Keeps up, Then it won't come down!!!!

  1.  5/4 of people admit that they’re bad with fractions.

  1. Why do you never see elephants hiding in trees? Because they're so good at it.

"Why did the Clydesdale give the pony a glass of water? 
Because he was a little horse!"

  1. Did you hear that the police have a warrant out on a midget psychic ripping people off? It reads “Small medium at large.”
  1.  What did daddy spider say to baby spider? A: You spend too much time on the web.
  1. Why was the big cat disqualified from the race? Because it was a cheetah.

"Why do chicken coops only have two doors? Because if they had four, they would be chicken sedans!"

  1. What happened when the two antennas got married? Well, the ceremony was kinda boring, but the reception was great!

    1. What’s ET short for? Because he’s only got little legs.”

  1.  What do you call a fat psychic? A four-chin teller

  1. How can you tell if a ant is a boy or a girl? They’re all girls, otherwise they’d be uncles.”

Where did the one-legged waitress work? IHOP!